4 Tiny Ways To Cultivate More Patience
Keep breathing.
Patience takes practice.
When you’re waiting for something — whatever that something is, we frequently tell one another to be patient.
Be patient, and that new job will come.
Be patient, and you’ll soon meet the love of your life.
Be patient, and you’ll healthily lose weight.
Be patient, and you’ll finally get your big break.
Be patient, and you’ll get your baby.
Be patient, and you’ll get your reward.
Be patient; it’s a virtue.
Be patient; that’s how one shows love.
Be patient; that’s how one shows kindness.
Be patient, be patient, be patient.
It’s easy to say this to one another — it might even be easy to say this to ourselves. But being patient is not something you can pluck of a shelf. You cannot order patience from Amazon. You cannot put a dash of it into your morning smoothie or drink it after your morning coffee.
Patience takes practice.
Patience takes work.
Patience is the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.
Let’s say that again.
Patience is the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.
To accept or tolerate delay, or trouble, or suffering…and not get upset or angry about it.
That’s a hard mindset to adopt in these modern times. Instant gratification is a real thing, and the feeling that you have the right to know what’s going on in the intimate details of someone else’s life is equally as real, too.
On a small scale, practicing patience would mean that when your Amazon order doesn’t come when you want it to, you don’t get upset about it. Or when you’re waiting in line at Starbucks, and your coffee isn’t coming out fast enough, you don’t get angry about it. Or when it takes you three hours to get home because of a significant traffic delay, you accept that in stride. Or when you see your Great Aunt Sally post some horrific statement on Facebook that makes your head want to explode, you don’t engage in the comments section.
On a larger scale, practicing patience means that you don’t get upset when you’re the single person at your family functions, and Aunt Karen has asked you again when you’re going to get a husband or a wife.
Or, when you’re at that same family function, and everyone and their grandma, and Aunt Karen wants to know when you are going to have a baby. They don’t know that you and your spouse are trying, and it’s taking a little longer than you both would like — and instead of hitting them back with some verbal venom, you smile and nod and say some generic answer that gets them to stop asking you questions.
Or, it’s when you’re at a different social gathering with family or friends whom you haven’t seen in quite some time, and they want to know why you haven’t sold your book yet or made your movie. They don’t understand why you’re still not a partner in your practice or the head of your company. They are confused as to why the products you’ve poured your heart and soul into aren’t already sitting on the shelves of Target — and even though you don’t have the energy to entertain their questions, and would instead run away screaming, you do. Because you know that they’re not trying to make you feel bad, they’re trying to tell you that they care about you.
So how do you practice patience and still maintain a level of composure and control around your loved ones and strangers alike?
Breathe.
Take a deep breath, and then exhale slowly — then breathe some more. Release your jaw. Relax your shoulders, too. Gaining control of your breath and releasing the tension that you’re holding in your body will calm you down — and it’ll pave the way for having more patience, too.
Journal.
Put pen to paper, and write down the things that you want. Don’t shy away from writing a list of the dreams that you are chasing. Take the time to work in a gratitude practice every morning, too. If you ground yourself by looking at what you want on that piece of paper, it’s easier for you to hold onto it when the opinions of others might rock you off balance.
Give yourself and your loved ones some grace.
They might be pestering you with questions that make you want to scream, but keep in mind that more often than not, it’s because they love you. It’s because they care. They ask because they’re interested in your life, and they’re looking for a way to connect with you. It’s because they want to be a part of your life, and know more about what makes you, you.
Permit yourself to walk away.
Sometimes, breathing will not be enough. Sometimes giving grace will not be enough, either — and when that happens, it’s probably time to walk away. It’s ok to remove yourself from a situation that makes your blood pressure hit the roof. It’s ok to step away from people or places that make you feel like you want to crawl under the covers. You aren’t in control of the question or questions that others ask you, but you are in control of how you react to things and the place where your feet stand. It’s ok to excuse yourself from situations sometimes.
Patience is one of those things in life that money cannot buy and something we cannot hold in our hands, and yet, it’s something we chase. Something we seek. Something we hope to have — and once we get it, we struggle with how to keep it.
But, it is not an impossible feat.
It is something that is within your grasp — it is something you can achieve.
