Marry Someone Who Wants For You Want You Want For Yourself
There are so many things that go into choosing a life partner.
Marriage and commitment and forever are not something to be entered into without thought and conversation. Questions that you must ask of yourself and one another — do you want children? Where do you want to live? What are your politics? What is your religion? Do you want to emulate what your parents had — or are you hoping for something different? What does work look like for you? What does leisure look like for you? How does your forever human fit into the picture that you have for your life? And so on and so on.
But perhaps one of the most important things that we overlook when talking about what makes the perfect fit between two humans is not only the want to blend two lives, but that they should want for you what you want for yourself — and vice versa.
As in, they should want you to fulfill your dreams, your goals, what lights your soul on fire — even if they cannot quite understand them.
Perhaps that dream will look like staying home when your children are small and diving headfirst into a career once they’re in school. Or maybe that dream looks like working at building your own company and wanting a husband or wife that’s going to be able to share in that build — or take on more responsibility when it comes to running their home and their lives.
Maybe that dream looks like a pivot when it comes to their career — and that pivot involves more schooling and, therefore, more money, time, and juggling of the mounting number of responsibilities that you both have as adults. But you and your beloved take this challenge on, for you know that it means something to them, and therefore, it means something to you, too.
Whatever your dream looks like, whatever the goals that you have, and the things you hope to achieve, I hope that the person whom you call husband or wife or your forever life partner supports your journey to get there.
I hope they hold your hand when you face inevitable job rejection, and I hope they are your biggest cheerleader when you are gearing up to throw your hat in the ring for something new. If you choose to be more careful with the food you consume and make healthier choices for you and your body — I hope they’re the one who picks up the produce. I hope they quiz you as you study for that big exam, and I hope they’re the first person other than you to hear or read or listen to your art.
And when they are carving out their own dreams, I hope you support them in the way that they need you to, too.
For marriage, and commitment and the promise of forever is built with the bricks of support. Support for your wellbeing, and dreams, and goals, and ambitions — and the tiny moments in between that seem far less advantageous, too.
Whomever you choose, I hope it’s someone who knows that support is a two-way street — and I hope you know that, too.