Learning Patience As An Adult

Lessons from my husband

Megan Minutillo
3 min readOct 12, 2021


Photo by Chermiti Mohamed on Unsplash

It was an ordinary Saturday, and my husband and I had decided to get a slice of pizza for lunch. We were talking about things that were pressing on my mind regarding work and life and stress when I looked at him and said, “You make me calmer. Because of you, I pause before speaking, or texting, or writing, or responding. And for that, I’m forever grateful.”

I’m an empathetic human. I’m sensitive. I’m vulnerable, and I wear my emotions on a sleeve most of the time. I’ve always thought that I was patient, and I’ve always been told so — but my husband takes patience to a new level.

He thinks before he speaks, always.

He thinks before he responds to a text, or an email, too.

He doesn’t instantly react to what troubles him — instead, he is measured and thought out, and calm about what he is hearing or reading, and proceeds to engage with that same level of measured calmness.

It’s a glorious gift to be this patient and one that I continue to learn from the older we get.

For patience is something to be practiced. Patience is something that we must continue to learn. Patience, as an adult, can sometimes feel fleeting, but it’s still very much something that’s within our grasp.

When our kids are young, we teach them patience. We urge them to wait their turn before speaking, to hold their tongue if they don’t have anything nice to say, and to stop talking over one another as they compete for attention. We urge them to choose their words carefully, and we reprimand them when they speak without care.

We do this to help foster tiny individuals who will one day grow up to become adults that are empathetic, kind, compassionate humans.

We do this for our children, yet sometimes, we forget to hold onto the lessons we learned as kids ourselves.

Patience is something to practice.

It’s something to remember, even when you’re tired, angry, frustrated, and hurt. It’s something to hold onto, even when you want to shake your fists and the sky…



Megan Minutillo

Essayist, poet, and theatre producer. I write stories about self-awareness, IVF, and finding your footing in life’s messy moments. Instagram: @meganminutillo.