Not A Casual Love Kind Of Girl
You’re not a casual love kind of girl.
There’s nothing casual about love to you. Casual means you can flip a switch and turn it off. Casual means that you’re not the only one in the relationship. Casual means that you’re not sure where you stand with that person at the end of the day — is it ok to text good morning? Is it ok to call on your way home from work? Is it ok to say, I need to see you more than once a week?
When it’s casual, you’re not sure. When it’s casual, there’s no way to tell.
When you dip your toe into the waters of casual love, you don’t know if that person will show up if you need them. Sure, the sex can be great, the conversations can be exciting, but when you need to call someone to talk about the terrible thing that happened at work — will they be there to pick up the phone? You’re not sure. And that doesn’t sit well with you.
Cause you’re not a casual love kind of girl. You’re the kind of girl who wants a love that you can be sure of, a love you don’t have to downplay. You want to shout your love from rooftops — you want to wear it on your sleeve, and hold it in your hands, and take the time and energy to cultivate it every day.
There’s nothing casual about that.
You want to go out for margaritas and wake up the next morning to eggs and bacon and the smell of coffee brewing. You want to have a night of mind-blowing physical intimacy, and you want to cuddle in bed for more than a moment the next morning. You want to talk until the wee hours of the morning, and you want to be able to sit in silence and know that there’s no need to fill the air with chatter, for the space between you is already filled with comfort and love.
You want the expectation of remembering birthdays, names of friends and family members, and the stories of younger days that shaped you into the person you’ve become. You want to give, and you wish to receive, and you want to be with someone who expects the best from you, someone whom you expect the best from, too.
There’s nothing casual about expectation.
And you know what? That’s ok. It’s ok that you don’t want a casual kind of love. It’s ok that you want someone to lean on and someone to shower with love. It’s ok that you want someone to live with, not beside. It’s ok that you want to know that your person will show up for you, and it’s ok that you want to be the person who shows up for them. You want commitment and consistency, and intimacy, and connection. You want to be in a relationship that wants to be rooted in something bigger than convenience.
You are not a casual love kind of girl. You want and need a committed type of love.
And you deserve it.
Previously published on Thought Catalog, here.