The Elephant Under The Bed

Navigating the infertility road

Megan Minutillo
4 min readDec 6, 2021
Photo by Baby Natur on Unsplash

I was making our bed, as I do every morning. I struggled a bit with the fitted sheet, as I do from time to time when I saw it peeking out from under the mattress — a blue fuzzy ear.

I looked at it and smiled.

In truth, I had forgotten about purchasing it, let alone the fact that it was there.

It was a tiny stuffed elephant head with a bit of blanket attached, no bigger than the size of a handkerchief. It was the kind of thing that you give to a newborn baby.

I bought it sometime in my infertility journey. I don’t remember when; I remember being in Target one day, and I just read about faith purchases from a blogger who writes about infertility. Faith purchases spoke about buying a little something for your baby, even before they’re in your belly, as a little token to remind yourself that one day, it’ll happen. One day, your miracle will be here. The trick was to buy the tiny thing and then put it under your mattress or out of sight until one day you’ll need it again.

It’s a tricky thing, navigating infertility.

And tricky is putting it lightly.

And yet, wandering around the aisles of Target that day, I found myself drawn to a tiny elephant blanket and put it in my…

--

--

Megan Minutillo

Essayist, poet, and theatre producer. I write stories about self-awareness, IVF, and finding your footing in life’s messy moments. Instagram: @meganminutillo.