The Unedited Truth About The End Of A Friendship
Sometimes, a friendship will end.
And it’s not because someone did something catastrophic.
And it’s not because someone was mean, or horrible, or committed some act of betrayal.
Sometimes, a friendship ends because sometimes, things end.
Maybe it’s because the two of you grew apart. Or maybe your jobs have pulled you in different directions — perhaps your love lives have drawn you in different directions, too. Perhaps the reasons that you were best friends in second grade don’t hold up when you’re a senior in high school. Maybe the moments and memories from your senior year in high school aren’t enough to cultivate a friendship that withstands college and your twenties and your thirties and beyond.
Maybe you can’t pinpoint a specific reason as to why you and your friend don’t jive as well as you used to because perhaps it’s not a single reason.
Maybe it’s a million different little things.
Maybe it’s a million different little reasons.
Whatever it is — it doesn’t have to mean that you look upon that friendship with annoyance, or horror, or disgust.
It doesn’t mean that you have to look back upon your friendship that ended with shame.
It doesn’t mean that you have to wince every time Facebook reminds you of an adventure you had together or when you hear someone with the same name.
It doesn’t mean that you have to consider the entire friendship a failure, a waste of time, or something to bury and forget.
It doesn’t mean that you have to curse their name, or delete their photos from your social media feeds, or wipe any memory of them from your life.
Not all friendships that end are rooted in trauma.
Even good friendships can come to an end.
The friendship ended, but those good memories are allowed to last. You’re allowed to look back on those memories with fondness, too. You’re allowed to tell the stories of your adventures together and smile. You’re allowed to recollect the times you spent together with joy.
The friendship ended, but it brought you to this current season of your life. It taught you lessons, even if you cannot see them now. Because of this friendship, you know yourself better, too. You know what you need, know what you want, and know where you wish to go.
Sometimes there are friends that you meet when you’re five, and they walk beside you on this journey called life until you’re in your eighties. But then other friends will come into your life, only for a season. It’s during that season when you’ll learn how to weather the storm and the calm — and it’s within that time where you’ll learn what it takes for you to bloom.
Previously published on Thought Catalog, here.