When Mother’s Day Feels Hard

A love letter for the mamas- in-waiting

Megan Minutillo

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Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

Mother’s Day is today, and perhaps that doesn’t hurt your heart. Maybe that doesn’t make your insides sting a little bit, and you will enjoy the mother or mothers in your life that you adore and celebrate them the way they deserve. Maybe you will celebrate with your own little loves and delight in the tiny delicious moments of the day.

Maybe.

Or maybe you’ve been trying to grow your family unsuccessfully, and this day stings a lot. Perhaps you don’t want to be reminded that you still don’t have a baby. Maybe you don’t want to think about how you and your husband or spouse are in the thicket of fertility treatments, and you’d prefer to lock yourself inside your house and turn on Netflix and pour the champagne and forget that it’s Mother’s Day, too.

If that’s you, I get it; I do.

I’ve been there, too.

I don’t know what your story is — but I know it’s hard.

It’s hard, and it sometimes hurts to smile for the ones you adore, for the sadness in your own heart seems to be overflowing. I know you simultaneously can hold hope and heartache for yourself and happiness for others, but doing so can be very exhausting. I know you’re tired of waiting and wishing and hoping.

I know that days like Mother’s Day are a reminder of a dream that you have yet to fulfill.

Unfortunately, I know that no words can lessen that sting, and no pretty prose will wipe away your tears. But I hope you find comfort in knowing that you don’t have to walk this road alone. I hope you know that you’re allowed to take a day to step back from the people in your life if that’s what you need to do. I hope you let yourself lean on those who want to help you, those who might not understand, yet they want to hold your hand and dry your tears anyway.

They’re there, waiting for you.

This road that you’re walking is long. It’s long, and it’s hard, and it sucks, and it’s tiring. More moments of ugly tears and cries of pain and a general sadness will sit with those on this journey more than one cares to admit.

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Megan Minutillo

Essayist, poet, and theatre producer. I write stories about self-awareness, IVF, and finding your footing in life’s messy moments. Instagram: @meganminutillo.